I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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