Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize