end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
