So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
