Buhtt sex?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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