Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
