did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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