No awkward lesbian experiences without me
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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