Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
either way he was missing a nipple.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
