no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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