Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
