this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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