Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
