I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
