started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
