I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Duck Duck Cougar?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
