It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize