i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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