I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
