You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
