it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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