so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
