The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
