You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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