Im at strip club and am horny
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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