ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you didnt know i had herpes?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
