put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize