I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
