Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
