My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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