forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
