He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
