Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
