Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize