either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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