PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize