It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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