Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I want is dick and wine.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
