I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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