Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
