just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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