please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
