I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize