The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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