He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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