man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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