I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
