How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
