even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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