Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she pinky promised me she was 18
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
