Taylor Swift is so right about you.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
