Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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