apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
