Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
