Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
