Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
