I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
they need to just BURY HIM!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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