New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize