His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
