I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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