I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
