32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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